Job 1:21

"Jesus replied -you don't understand now what I am doing, but someday you will"- John 13:7

I posted this piece of scripture on Facebook around a week ago, I didn't understand why that passage in John was on repeat in my mind until nearly a week later. Over the weekend I lost another baby. We weren't very far a long- I hadn't seen their sweet face, or heard the pitter patter of their heart but they were there, and then they weren't. 

I wish I could say the second time around that it was easier, that the pain was less- but I can't. What I can say is that the Lord began a work in my heart a week before I lost our precious second angel, He knew then that I would wonder why...He knew long before I would that I'm not going to understand the reasoning behind it. I won't sit here and say that this verse completely removed the sting of losing another baby, because it hasn't. But I will say that someday I will understand the bigger picture of why I was given two angels for only  a brief amount of time. 

I'm so thankful that the Lord blessed us with another baby.

" The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD."- Job 1:21

With every beat of my heart I am reminded of the two lives I'll never know this side of heaven, I mourn for them- I miss them. I wish I could hold them now.

I don't really have a lot to say at the moment, other than I appreciate every kind word and prayer you've said on my behalf. When I started this blog I wasn't sure what I wanted it to be- what direction I wanted it to go, because I wasn't sure how much I wanted to share. As time has progressed and I've shared more and more about my life I haven't regretted a single bit of it. Writing this blog, and sharing with other believers, family, and friends has proven to mean more to me than I ever would have imagined.

Thank you for patiently waiting while I figured some things out- thank you for reading- thank you for praying.

I don't know what God has in my mind for my family, I'm not sure how our family will come to be- but I am sure that God is so faithful- He's proven himself to be time and time again.

xoxo,
Meagan