The first of many letters
Dear Lennox,
As I'm writing this, you're asleep on my chest. Breathing deeply, and occasionally letting one rip. And I wouldn't trade a second of this for anything else in the world. For a long time you were a dream in my heart, one that I wasn't sure would come true. But here you are, and I've never known love like this. It's hard to believe that I've only had you for 8 weeks, because you've changed my entire life. I won't lie and say I don't remember what life was like before you- because I'm keenly aware of being able to shower without an audience, and sleeping for more than 4.5 hours at a time- but what I will say is that you've filled a hole in my heart I didn't even realize was there. You've made me a better person, and I pray everyday that I rise to the calling of being a mother worthy of imitation. Every day I wake up and wonder how my heart can stand to love you more, and every night I go to sleep realizing that I've fallen more in love with you than I even knew was possible. I've heard a lot of people say that "the days are long, but the years are short." And I guess I never really understood that until you came along. I'm uniquely aware that you won't be a baby for very long. Everyday I sit and stare at you, hoping that I won't forget the sounds that you make while you're sleeping. Or how you make the cutest little duck lips, I pray that I remember the way you smile after a feeding- and the intoxicatingly way you smell after a bath. I never want to forget the joy that fills your daddy's face when he walks in the door after working all day and sees you. These are moments we will never, ever get back. To some they may seem insignificant, but to your daddy and me they are everything. Above everything that I hope and wish for- I pray that we lead you back to the one who made you. Teaching you to the love the Lord is the biggest responsibility of my life, and I pray that we honor Him. I spent a lot of years on my knees praying for this very season of life. I cherish being your mom, and while I know there will come hard days filled with tears and discipline and heartache- I hope you always know how fiercely you are loved. I promise to always be your mom first, because that's what I'm called to be. One day, you'll have a baby of your own and you will realize the importance of that. My love for you grows every second- and my protective mama bear tendencies grow too. It kills me to think I can't protect you from everything, that there will come days I have to wipe tears from your eyes. But I promise to always be there with a box of Kleenex and a safe, loving place for you to share. Please don't grow up too fast. But even if you do, remember this...
I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living my baby, you'll be.
Love,
Mom
As I'm writing this, you're asleep on my chest. Breathing deeply, and occasionally letting one rip. And I wouldn't trade a second of this for anything else in the world. For a long time you were a dream in my heart, one that I wasn't sure would come true. But here you are, and I've never known love like this. It's hard to believe that I've only had you for 8 weeks, because you've changed my entire life. I won't lie and say I don't remember what life was like before you- because I'm keenly aware of being able to shower without an audience, and sleeping for more than 4.5 hours at a time- but what I will say is that you've filled a hole in my heart I didn't even realize was there. You've made me a better person, and I pray everyday that I rise to the calling of being a mother worthy of imitation. Every day I wake up and wonder how my heart can stand to love you more, and every night I go to sleep realizing that I've fallen more in love with you than I even knew was possible. I've heard a lot of people say that "the days are long, but the years are short." And I guess I never really understood that until you came along. I'm uniquely aware that you won't be a baby for very long. Everyday I sit and stare at you, hoping that I won't forget the sounds that you make while you're sleeping. Or how you make the cutest little duck lips, I pray that I remember the way you smile after a feeding- and the intoxicatingly way you smell after a bath. I never want to forget the joy that fills your daddy's face when he walks in the door after working all day and sees you. These are moments we will never, ever get back. To some they may seem insignificant, but to your daddy and me they are everything. Above everything that I hope and wish for- I pray that we lead you back to the one who made you. Teaching you to the love the Lord is the biggest responsibility of my life, and I pray that we honor Him. I spent a lot of years on my knees praying for this very season of life. I cherish being your mom, and while I know there will come hard days filled with tears and discipline and heartache- I hope you always know how fiercely you are loved. I promise to always be your mom first, because that's what I'm called to be. One day, you'll have a baby of your own and you will realize the importance of that. My love for you grows every second- and my protective mama bear tendencies grow too. It kills me to think I can't protect you from everything, that there will come days I have to wipe tears from your eyes. But I promise to always be there with a box of Kleenex and a safe, loving place for you to share. Please don't grow up too fast. But even if you do, remember this...
I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living my baby, you'll be.
Love,
Mom
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