Shifted Perspective

Have you ever had a moment that completely shaped your life, but wasn't something that actually happened to you at all?

A couple of weeks ago a precious 7 month old little boy named Sloan died. And my world shifted.

I didn't know Sloan, and I didn't know his mom. But I know their story. I hear his mothers grief in every post she makes. I feel a gut wrenching emptiness in my stomach every time I see a picture of him. The way I mother Lennox is different because of a little boy I'll never have the chance to meet.

But isn't that God at work? He takes things that may not seem connected to us, and He uses them to change us. He uses them to shift our perspective so that we may see things differently. So that we may love differently. 

I love Lennox with every ounce of who I am. She's who I was waiting on. But since Jordan lost her rainbow baby, something in me has changed.

God used the DeRosier's story to change my life. To realize that life is more fragile than we care to remember. After the loss of two babies before our sweet Lennox arrived, you would think I'm always aware that no day is promised, but how easily I fell into a routine and forgot that very thing is surprising. Not anymore.

Every kiss, every hug, every second with her is a gift. I hope I always remember to treat it as such.

Somedays mommin is harder than I ever thought humanly possible. It's exhausting to care for someone who needs you for every aspect of their life. And I know all the moms can understand and relate to where I'm coming from.

Motherhood is hard.

It's harder than anything I've ever done.

But man, there will never come another day that I forget what an absolute privilege it is to be this little miracle's mom.

She's here. 

She's healthy.

We're blessed.

I know Jordan would give anything for one more moment with Sloan. My heart aches just typing that sentence out.

I'll cherish my baby. And I'll spend a lifetime lifting Jordan and her family up in my prayers. Year's don't erase the loss. They make the loss more prominent.

Hold your babies extra tight, no matter how old your baby may be.