when mothers day feels heavy

I wanted to be celebrated. Or at the very least acknowledged. And outside the circle of my husband, I wasn't.
It was Mother's Day 2015.
I had a baby in Heaven, Riley. No children in my home, and my womb was as empty as my heart.

But I was still a mama. I became someone's mom the second that pregnancy test read positive, and I continued to be someone's mom even as the Doctor said the words I never wanted to hear "I'm sorry, you are losing this pregnancy."

So as we head into Mother's Day 2019 I want YOU to be acknowledged and celebrated. I want you to know how deeply you are seen and even when you don't have the words to say, how deeply you are heard.
In the silence of your suffering, I hear you.
In the pain of you loss, I see you.
In the day to day of your grief, I'd like to walk with you.

Because I know full well how it can feel.

To be empty.
To be ashamed.
To be embarrassed.
To feel like a mom, but not be treated like one.
To desire.
To hope.
To cry.

And I want you, whoever you may be, to know you are not alone in it. You deserve to have this day be whatever you need it to be.
You deserve to feel like a mama no matter the season of life you are in.

So, I celebrate you. I recognize you. And if I could wrap you into a big hug I would.

Know that your story doesn't have to be painful forever. There is beauty coming. Your wait will not be in vain. Your womb may never hold a child, but that doesn't mean your heart won't.

Today I praise all the ways we can be mama's.
You are loved, seen, and appreciated.