a time for everything.

Since the moment I found out I was pregnant with Riley I started thinking of myself as a mom, of course when you miscarry no one around you really views you that way anymore- even though you never waiver on your motherhood status.
I've walked that road twice.
Two times I've felt the joy of a positive pregnancy test, and two times I've felt the heartache of my baby leaving my womb.

But one thing I've never heard is someone call me mom. until a few days ago.

my heart literally stopped, y'all.

Last weekend we attended the wedding of Zak's cousin and took "our" 3 kids with us. If you remember a few months back I was over the moon because "our" youngest told Zak and I she loved us for the first time.

Well over the weekend she called me mom. It wasn't intentional, or planned. It wasn't coerced or asked for.
In all honesty it was probably an honest mistake. But for a brief moment my heart exploded with thankfulness.

You see, she's never slipped up like that before. She's never even come close to calling me mom. To her I am Mrs. Meagan.

But what I learned last weekend was that even for a brief second she thought of me as a mom. Someone who has looked after her, and cared for her. Someone that tries desperately to put her needs above my own. Someone she knows she can count on.

I've prayed a thousand prayers wondering if she noticed how hard I try. I've shed more tears than I can count wondering if the impact I was leaving on her life would mean anything to her at all. I've spent evenings on my knee's begging God for a sign.

And in the middle of nowhere Arkansas He gave me one.

Outside, on a beautiful late August day He gave me the desire of my heart.

He gave me something I will treasure for a lifetime.

He made me a mom.

He makes all things beautiful in time.