you made me a mama
At Christmas I decided to start a tradition with you.
Each year I'd buy you a book or two, that meant something to me. This year one of the books I chose for you was entitled "You made me a Mother".
It seemed like an appropriate choice. You, my dear Lennox, made me a mama in every sense of the word. While I was blessed with two babies that are waiting on me in Heaven, I never knew all motherhood entailed until I held you in my arms.
So tomorrow, as we celebrate Mothers Day, I felt like I needed to say a few things to you.
I promise to spend my entire life loving you. I won't always do that well, so I pray I teach you all about grace and how the Lord has new mercies to offer us everyday. Right now loving you is like breathing, and I know it will feel like that for the rest of my life. The way I love you is unlike the way I love anyone else. It's the closest thing to the way God loves us that I think I will ever experience until the day I am face to face with Him. It's unconditional love. I will spend every day of the rest of my life unselfishly loving you, Lennox. I promise.
And while I'll love you every single day of your life, I won't always agree with the decisions you make. I want the very best for you, and I know as the years pass my version of your best life, and your version of your best life may not always line up. I pray for your future more than I pray for my own. I hope that the legacy I leave behind for you is one you are proud of, but more than that I pray that the decisions you make early on are ones you'd be proud of too.
As much as I love you, I want you to know I love your daddy more. And that's okay. My relationship with him will always come first. I love him with my entire heart, and what's more than that is that I like him with my entire heart too. Out of all the things I've said yes to in my life, saying yes to your dad was the easiest and best decision I've made. Through the years we have seen heartbreak, but we've also seen redemption and more joy than I could possibly fit into this paragraph. Loving him has made me a better person, and one day when you meet your Boaz, you'll know exactly what I mean.
This one is harder to say than I ever thought it would be but, I promise to not be your friend while you are young. You will have enough friends, what you need is a mom. And that is the role God designed me to fulfill in your life. I stood before our friends and family months ago, and dedicated to raise you in the right way. And so, I can't be your friend. I will love you, joke with you, and play with you until you can't play anymore. But I'll also discipline you, and give you structure. You need that more than anything else. I promise to be your mom first.
Finally, I want to say thank you. You have made this year the best year of my entire life. Being your mama has been the biggest blessing. The way your face lights up when you see me, challenges and encourages me to be the best version of myself.
Thank you for making me a mama.
Each year I'd buy you a book or two, that meant something to me. This year one of the books I chose for you was entitled "You made me a Mother".
It seemed like an appropriate choice. You, my dear Lennox, made me a mama in every sense of the word. While I was blessed with two babies that are waiting on me in Heaven, I never knew all motherhood entailed until I held you in my arms.
So tomorrow, as we celebrate Mothers Day, I felt like I needed to say a few things to you.
I promise to spend my entire life loving you. I won't always do that well, so I pray I teach you all about grace and how the Lord has new mercies to offer us everyday. Right now loving you is like breathing, and I know it will feel like that for the rest of my life. The way I love you is unlike the way I love anyone else. It's the closest thing to the way God loves us that I think I will ever experience until the day I am face to face with Him. It's unconditional love. I will spend every day of the rest of my life unselfishly loving you, Lennox. I promise.
And while I'll love you every single day of your life, I won't always agree with the decisions you make. I want the very best for you, and I know as the years pass my version of your best life, and your version of your best life may not always line up. I pray for your future more than I pray for my own. I hope that the legacy I leave behind for you is one you are proud of, but more than that I pray that the decisions you make early on are ones you'd be proud of too.
As much as I love you, I want you to know I love your daddy more. And that's okay. My relationship with him will always come first. I love him with my entire heart, and what's more than that is that I like him with my entire heart too. Out of all the things I've said yes to in my life, saying yes to your dad was the easiest and best decision I've made. Through the years we have seen heartbreak, but we've also seen redemption and more joy than I could possibly fit into this paragraph. Loving him has made me a better person, and one day when you meet your Boaz, you'll know exactly what I mean.
This one is harder to say than I ever thought it would be but, I promise to not be your friend while you are young. You will have enough friends, what you need is a mom. And that is the role God designed me to fulfill in your life. I stood before our friends and family months ago, and dedicated to raise you in the right way. And so, I can't be your friend. I will love you, joke with you, and play with you until you can't play anymore. But I'll also discipline you, and give you structure. You need that more than anything else. I promise to be your mom first.
Finally, I want to say thank you. You have made this year the best year of my entire life. Being your mama has been the biggest blessing. The way your face lights up when you see me, challenges and encourages me to be the best version of myself.
Thank you for making me a mama.
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