grace while we wait
I've admitted to being a dreamer a thousand times, I've never thought much was out of my reach if I worked hard enough and tried my very best.
I'm thankful for a mom that instilled that thought process in me, she never told me my dreams were too far away to reach- instead she stood by, rooted me on, and supplied me with the encouragement I needed to chase them.
But sometimes my dreams get the best of me- sometimes I hope for something so fiercely, and the Lord replies "not yet"... sometimes He simply replies "no."
It shouldn't come as a surprise that I desire, or hope to be a mom. I feel like that what my blog has become: one huge,continuous prayer to the Lord to grant me what I hope for.
And I shouldn't complain- because the Lord has already opened so many doors for me to become a mom, and in His perfect timing I know He'll make a way, but today my heart is heavy.
I've debated on whether or not I would share that, because part of me feels like I should and the other part feels like it makes me a horrible person.
But here's the truth: every single month I hold on to so much hope that this will be the month the Lord blesses us with a child, I pray over and over again that I'll be able to carry a baby to term- and every month His answer is "...not yet".
And every month my heart breaks, not because I don't believe that His timing is perfect, and it's not because I don't have faith that Christ will make a way- but because when you hope so intently for something, when every part of you knows you've been called...it's hard to have patience.
I can remember pleading for patience, and the funny thing about that is: when you pray for patience, you aren't miraculously given patience. nope. too easy
you're supplied with more opportunities to be patient- awesome, right?!
so here I am. daily struggling to use the opportunity I've been given to practice my patience. and boy, it is hard.
Hebrews 11:1 says "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
I hold on to hope of things I have yet to see.
I know we all have those moments where we feel like giving up or giving in- it's easy to do. But I have faith that Christ will make a way, in His perfect timing.
until then I pray for grace while we wait.
I'm thankful for a mom that instilled that thought process in me, she never told me my dreams were too far away to reach- instead she stood by, rooted me on, and supplied me with the encouragement I needed to chase them.
But sometimes my dreams get the best of me- sometimes I hope for something so fiercely, and the Lord replies "not yet"... sometimes He simply replies "no."
It shouldn't come as a surprise that I desire, or hope to be a mom. I feel like that what my blog has become: one huge,continuous prayer to the Lord to grant me what I hope for.
And I shouldn't complain- because the Lord has already opened so many doors for me to become a mom, and in His perfect timing I know He'll make a way, but today my heart is heavy.
I've debated on whether or not I would share that, because part of me feels like I should and the other part feels like it makes me a horrible person.
But here's the truth: every single month I hold on to so much hope that this will be the month the Lord blesses us with a child, I pray over and over again that I'll be able to carry a baby to term- and every month His answer is "...not yet".
And every month my heart breaks, not because I don't believe that His timing is perfect, and it's not because I don't have faith that Christ will make a way- but because when you hope so intently for something, when every part of you knows you've been called...it's hard to have patience.
I can remember pleading for patience, and the funny thing about that is: when you pray for patience, you aren't miraculously given patience. nope. too easy
you're supplied with more opportunities to be patient- awesome, right?!
so here I am. daily struggling to use the opportunity I've been given to practice my patience. and boy, it is hard.
Hebrews 11:1 says "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
I hold on to hope of things I have yet to see.
I know we all have those moments where we feel like giving up or giving in- it's easy to do. But I have faith that Christ will make a way, in His perfect timing.
until then I pray for grace while we wait.
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