holding on to 1 Samuel 1:27

Dear _______,

I don't know your name yet, or if you've even been given a name yet at all. I'm not sure if you're 7, or 3, or still in your mother's womb- but today I've prayed for you more than usual. I don't know what you're home life is like, and I'm praying extra hard that you'll be protected through whatever is taking place. I can't wait to meet you. I think about you every day, all day long. You're already such a big part of my life, and I've literally got butterflies just thinking about the day I'll see your sweet face for the first time.

I'm nervous, too. And I think it's important that you know that. I don't have life all figured out, but I know who goes before, and I know who stays behind. I can't change your past- but I promise with everything in me to give you a future. I can't lie and say that once you're with me everything will be perfect, because I'm as imperfect as they come. Luckily I know and love a perfect Savior, who is more than able to meet you where you are, and love you past your imperfections. I pray that Christ becomes so real to you. And I promise to daily strive to show you Christ through my actions.

I hope  you get the chance to read this one day, when your dad and I think you're ready. Wow...I love referring to my husband, as your dad. I promise you he'll be the best dad, you'll never have to wonder if you're safe ever again- because with him around, you always will be. He'll play with you, and help you gang up on me. He's already talking about the nerf gun fights we'll have. More than anything, I can't wait to see the two of you together, even if it does mean that I'll always be on my own when it comes to anything nerf related.

I can't wait to see what our family will become. For the past (almost) 3 years, it's just been Zak and I. But long before we were married we prayed about finding you. You were never our "plan b" or "just in case clause".. you were always a part of our family plan- never doubt that. Callie and Gracie can't wait to meet you either- don't they look eager with anticipation?!

I've spent most of my adult life waiting to be a mom, and I can't wait to welcome you into our home. Try and remember that we're new to this whole "parents" thing- We promise to practice grace, and hope that you do the same. I promise to love Christ first, you dad second, and you third- right now it may seem like you're getting the short end of the stick, but trust me....that's how its supposed to go.

I promise that we'll have fun- please don't feel guilty if we do. Your job is to be a kid, and we'll take care of the rest. There will be dance parties EVERYWHERE- and I can't apologize for them, and I can't make them stop even though I'm sure at some point you'll beg us to. We may not have the best dance moves

example A

but we always have a good time. There are very few dull moments in life when you're around Zak Lowry, prepare yourself.

I just wanted to write you a quick note to let you know that I think of you often. I want you to know you are wanted.

and important.

and worth something.

and loved.

man, are you loved.

I'm sorry that life will be- or has been so incredibly sad for you.

I'll do my best to make sure that all the days ahead of you will be filled with smiles, and even on the valley days, at least they'll be filled with love.

we can't wait to meet you.

you are our forever.

love you.

xoxo