Aren't you afraid
I am afraid of a lot of things- some are realistic and some are not.
I'm afraid of spiders, and all crawling insects
I'm afraid of being attacked by a shark.
I'm afraid of the dark.
I'm afraid of a snake finding it's way into my plumbing and popping out of my toilet-don't laugh too hard here, because it's happened before! (not to me...but you can never be too cautious)
The biggest question I've been asked since Zak and I decided to publicly share that we're planning on fostering/adoption is "aren't you afraid of falling in love with a child you may not get to keep?"
the answer is simple: yes.....but, I'm more afraid of what will happen if I don't.
I am not some sort of super human who can decide when to love something and when not to. I know without a doubt that I will love any child that comes into our home.
will they always stay?- probably not.
will they always be a perfect fit in our family?- i'm not sure
does it terrify me to one day give them back or give them up?- 100% yes.
It scares me more to think that because of my selfish desire to protect myself from feeling pain I would deprive these children of knowing (for even a short period of time) how deeply they are loved.
I know what it's like to love someone so immensely, and then lose them. I know what it's like to feel your heart break over a child you'll never fully know.
That pain is so real, but so is what Christ has called Zak and I to.
Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.-James 1:27
I understand the question, because it's one I've had to ask myself many times.
Is this something I can handle?
Am I prepared to raise someone else's child as my own?
Without Christ I am not prepared to do any of those things. But Christ will equip me with the strength I need.
I don't know what it will be like to fall in love with a child that ultimately will leave my home.
But if they leave, I'll know there is something beautiful to be found in a family that's been so drastically redeemed.
I firmly believe that brokenness doesn't have to remain broken- because I've been broken.
I've been so broken, that I wasn't sure I would ever find the version of myself that I was before.
Am I afraid of a child that's "too broken"?...NO, because if Christ could redeem me in my brokenness, than Christ through me could redeem them in theirs.
I'm not naive enough to believe that I can make a child whole, because I can't- but I've been called to show a child the love of Christ, and even if that's only for a few weeks, 6 months, or a year- I plan on spending each of those moments loving a child that feels forgotten.
Am I afraid of what foster care/ adoption will do to my life- sometimes.
but only in the best of ways- I'm ready for this to completely turn my world upside down, Christ began to prepare my heart for this moment 7 months ago- to love someone so fiercely that I could not keep...man, I've been there. I know that pain. I know the struggle and heartache that follows that kind of loss- but I also know the complete joy that the Lord supplies when he takes all those broken pieces and molds them back together for His Glory.
And Thank God He does. Thank God for peace that surpasses ALL understanding.
I'm afraid of spiders, and all crawling insects
I'm afraid of being attacked by a shark.
I'm afraid of the dark.
I'm afraid of a snake finding it's way into my plumbing and popping out of my toilet-don't laugh too hard here, because it's happened before! (not to me...but you can never be too cautious)
The biggest question I've been asked since Zak and I decided to publicly share that we're planning on fostering/adoption is "aren't you afraid of falling in love with a child you may not get to keep?"
the answer is simple: yes.....but, I'm more afraid of what will happen if I don't.
I am not some sort of super human who can decide when to love something and when not to. I know without a doubt that I will love any child that comes into our home.
will they always stay?- probably not.
will they always be a perfect fit in our family?- i'm not sure
does it terrify me to one day give them back or give them up?- 100% yes.
It scares me more to think that because of my selfish desire to protect myself from feeling pain I would deprive these children of knowing (for even a short period of time) how deeply they are loved.
I know what it's like to love someone so immensely, and then lose them. I know what it's like to feel your heart break over a child you'll never fully know.
That pain is so real, but so is what Christ has called Zak and I to.
Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.-James 1:27
I understand the question, because it's one I've had to ask myself many times.
Is this something I can handle?
Am I prepared to raise someone else's child as my own?
Without Christ I am not prepared to do any of those things. But Christ will equip me with the strength I need.
I don't know what it will be like to fall in love with a child that ultimately will leave my home.
But if they leave, I'll know there is something beautiful to be found in a family that's been so drastically redeemed.
I firmly believe that brokenness doesn't have to remain broken- because I've been broken.
I've been so broken, that I wasn't sure I would ever find the version of myself that I was before.
Am I afraid of a child that's "too broken"?...NO, because if Christ could redeem me in my brokenness, than Christ through me could redeem them in theirs.
I'm not naive enough to believe that I can make a child whole, because I can't- but I've been called to show a child the love of Christ, and even if that's only for a few weeks, 6 months, or a year- I plan on spending each of those moments loving a child that feels forgotten.
Am I afraid of what foster care/ adoption will do to my life- sometimes.
but only in the best of ways- I'm ready for this to completely turn my world upside down, Christ began to prepare my heart for this moment 7 months ago- to love someone so fiercely that I could not keep...man, I've been there. I know that pain. I know the struggle and heartache that follows that kind of loss- but I also know the complete joy that the Lord supplies when he takes all those broken pieces and molds them back together for His Glory.
And Thank God He does. Thank God for peace that surpasses ALL understanding.
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