letter one

Dear Birth Mom,

I haven't met you yet, and honestly don't know that I ever will. I don't know what your life looks like right now, or the events that will play out that cause you to lose something so special. I don't know the pain that leads someone to make the kind of decisions you have or will make. In all honesty, it's easy for me to initially judge you. It's easy for me to turn you into a villain, and right you off as some horrible person. Instead I want you to know that I'm praying for you. Last night as I was sitting in the training course that will ultimately prepare my heart and home to receive your child I couldn't help but feel immensely sad for you. I understand that for me to have adoption someone else had to have their children erased from their lives, but even understanding that doesn't prepare you for the amount of emotions that are sure to follow. My heart breaks for you. I'm sorry that things went so terribly wrong for you, I'm sorry that you hit a bottom that you couldn't pull yourself out of. I'm sorry that for me to gain this child, you had to lose them. Truly, I am.
 

 I haven't met your child(ren) yet either, but I can assure you that I'm praying for them also. I'm excited to watch them grow and learn and possibly  become a Lowry. I know that some day they'll ask me questions about you, and I promise to prayerfully season my words of you with grace. Learning all the ways that could have led to your children entering my home is gut-wrenching, I promise to re-write their story. I promise that where they are now physically, emotionally, and mentally isn't where they'll stay. Above all, I promise to love your children. I didn't carry your babies in my belly, but God has placed them in my heart. 

I pray that one day you find the help that you need, I pray that you experience the Lord's love and grace and mercy in your life. I pray you find forgiveness, and peace. I want you to know that I legitimately care about you. Without you I wouldn't one day have these blessings.
More than anything I want you to know that I'll stand in the gap for you, and raise the children that you could not. 
I promise that even though each day of their lives with my husband and I won't be perfect, that we'll always put their best interest first. We will fight for them, and protect them. We will pray with and for them.
We will fiercely love them.

I won't be a perfect mom, but I worship a perfect Savior.
I promise you that I will daily answer the call the Lord has placed on my life. I promise to lead your children by my example, and I promise that they will always know how much they were wanted.

I will do right by them.

So just know that you're being prayed for, and your children are already deeply loved.

-Meagan