thankful for a goodbye
Tomorrow marks one year of life without my PawPaw Johnny.
Hard to believe that an entire year of laughter, and heartbreak, joys and failures have passed without him here.
There are so many reasons why I miss this man.
There are so many things he taught me that I'll teach my children too.
Even when my biological father didn't step up and spend quality time with me or my sister while we were growing up, we could always count on paw paw johnny to be there.
while we lived in the same place he made a point to pick us up every Wednesday and take us to the restaurant of our choice (which always seemed to be McDonalds or sonic- don't judge us too harshly here. when you're little those two places are like fine cuisine lol)
There are so many reasons why I miss this man.
There are so many things he taught me that I'll teach my children too.
Even when my biological father didn't step up and spend quality time with me or my sister while we were growing up, we could always count on paw paw johnny to be there.
while we lived in the same place he made a point to pick us up every Wednesday and take us to the restaurant of our choice (which always seemed to be McDonalds or sonic- don't judge us too harshly here. when you're little those two places are like fine cuisine lol)
The first vehicle I ever drove was a 1950's something Ford pick-up down an old oil road when I was 4 years old, of course I "drove" by steering the wheel while he pumped the gas, but all these years later I cherish that memory.
I shared some incredible times with that man. He introduced me to Pure Country- my all time favorite movie.
He fed me my first fried green tomato.
He held me in his lap when I cried about my dad not being around...he never tried to make excuses for his son, instead he made apologies.
My paw paw was a man among men.
He worked hard all his life, and loved to make anyone he could laugh.
I pray that I'm half the person that he was, and I wish he were here to watch me become a mom.
Some of my favorite times with him were when he was aggravating the fire out of me.If I were to say:
-paw paw, I'm thirsty.
or
-paw paw, I'm hungry
His response without fail would be:
-Nice to meet you, (thirsty or hungry), I'm Johnny.
His love, and his laugh were infectious. And boy, he gave away both of those things freely. If you were lucky enough to know Johnny Youngblood, you were lucky enough.
I had what most people don't- a chance to say goodbye.
I didn't know it for sure at the time, but Hospice had been called in and so I rushed back to Texas to spend one day by his side.
He thought I was still the 8 year old version of myself, and so we talked about the good times we had shared. We hugged and held hands, and said a million "i love you's". Walking out of that nursing home room was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. Not knowing if that was going to be the last time I saw him, this side of Heaven, broke my heart.
A few days after my visit, I received the word that my paw paw had gone on to be with his son in Heaven.
I am so grateful that the Lord allowed me that last day with a man I spent my whole childhood admiring. I'm thankful that I had the chance to let him know exactly what he meant to me. I'm proud to be his grand-daughter.
Paw Paw,
I miss you every single day, but today it hurts a little more than usual. The thing about you being gone is that some day's it doesn't feel like you're gone at all. And I think that's because you taught me so much about how to live, that I think of you with every passing day. My heart is so happy that you've had an entire year with Uncle Ronnie, now that Riley is in Heaven I know a little about the pain you must have felt after you lost him. Thank you for teaching me that tragedy doesn't have to define your life.
I can't wait to hug your neck.
I love you.
I shared some incredible times with that man. He introduced me to Pure Country- my all time favorite movie.
He fed me my first fried green tomato.
He held me in his lap when I cried about my dad not being around...he never tried to make excuses for his son, instead he made apologies.
My paw paw was a man among men.
He worked hard all his life, and loved to make anyone he could laugh.
I pray that I'm half the person that he was, and I wish he were here to watch me become a mom.
Some of my favorite times with him were when he was aggravating the fire out of me.If I were to say:
-paw paw, I'm thirsty.
or
-paw paw, I'm hungry
His response without fail would be:
-Nice to meet you, (thirsty or hungry), I'm Johnny.
His love, and his laugh were infectious. And boy, he gave away both of those things freely. If you were lucky enough to know Johnny Youngblood, you were lucky enough.
I had what most people don't- a chance to say goodbye.
I didn't know it for sure at the time, but Hospice had been called in and so I rushed back to Texas to spend one day by his side.
He thought I was still the 8 year old version of myself, and so we talked about the good times we had shared. We hugged and held hands, and said a million "i love you's". Walking out of that nursing home room was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. Not knowing if that was going to be the last time I saw him, this side of Heaven, broke my heart.
A few days after my visit, I received the word that my paw paw had gone on to be with his son in Heaven.
I am so grateful that the Lord allowed me that last day with a man I spent my whole childhood admiring. I'm thankful that I had the chance to let him know exactly what he meant to me. I'm proud to be his grand-daughter.
Paw Paw,
I miss you every single day, but today it hurts a little more than usual. The thing about you being gone is that some day's it doesn't feel like you're gone at all. And I think that's because you taught me so much about how to live, that I think of you with every passing day. My heart is so happy that you've had an entire year with Uncle Ronnie, now that Riley is in Heaven I know a little about the pain you must have felt after you lost him. Thank you for teaching me that tragedy doesn't have to define your life.
I can't wait to hug your neck.
I love you.
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